                                    testament

   this is what I want done with my website after I die

   published on Thursday, 9 July 2026

   This text was dumped from starbreaker.org/testament.html with lynx.

   I might be dead when you read this, whether tomorrow, in a decade, or
   perhaps even a century. I have no intention of going until I’m killed
   by death, and if the corporate-owned media reports my demise as a
   suicide they’re lying. But if Neil Gaiman is right, Death is a lady,
   and the lady will do as she pleases and come for me in her own sweet
   time.
   a drawing of a perky Goth chick Death in accused rapist Neil Gaiman’s
   The Sandman, art by Mike Dringenberg

   Seriously, though: since I don’t know when I’ll be obliged to make my
   exit, there are a few things I’d like known.
     * starbreaker.org is currently hosted on Nearly Free Speech.
     * If practical, I will attempt to set up a trust that will keep the
       site online after my death.
     * My wife, Madam Catastrophy, will get access to all of my online
       accounts when my time comes. I hope she’ll still care enough about
       me to find some way to preserve and disseminate my work.
     * I mean to write my own farewell post as a “draft” and create a
       target in my website’s makefile that will copy my swan song into
       the appropriate directory, build the website, and upload it. Then
       again, this "testament" page might suffice for the purpose.
     * The Wayback Machine periodically crawls portions of my website.
     * This website has a public git repository. Anybody who wants to is
       welcome to clone it. Its contents are freely available for
       non-commercial use with attribution.
     * In addition, I provide a UNIX tape archive containing the latest
       versions of everything on starbreaker.org. If Zip archives are more
       convenient, that too is available.

   I hope that my work on starbreaker.org will be widely mirrored, but
   that depends on you. I also hope that at least one university might
   care to grab a copy on the off chance that some scholar might find
   something I’ve written worth study. However, all of that will be out of
   my hands once I’m gone. I’m not too worried about it either way, to be
   honest. The world managed reasonably well for billions of years before
   I showed up. It will probably manage tolerably well for billions more
   after I’ve snuffed it.

   But if you hear that I’ve gone, don’t bother crying for me. I had a
   better life than many, and got most of what I had wanted. Besides, I’ll
   be too dead to care, so don’t waste a second of what time remains to
   you mourning me. After all, Bill Hicks might have been right about all
   of this being just a ride. And for me, the ride will be over. Maybe
   I’ll get back on it in the future, or maybe I’ll decide that once was
   enough.

   If you must acknowledge my departure, here’s how I want you to do it:
   Don’t worry about the fucking internet. Eat, drink, be merry. Love your
   spouses. Play with your children. Run wild beneath the sun with your
   dogs. Let your cats curl up in your laps. Sing and dance skyclad
   beneath the moon and stars. Indulge in public fornication. Destroy your
   idols. Burn the churches down. Raze every prison to the ground. Smash
   the state. Seize the means of production. Shout at the Devil, curse
   God, and live free.

   Do everything I’m no longer around to do. Do everything I didn’t have
   the balls or the chance to do. Don’t just live large, live loud. Maybe
   I’ll even hear you in whatever afterlife ends up taking me, be it
   Limbo, Tartarus, Sheol, Diyu, Yomi, Naraka, Hel, the Summerlands, or
   even Valhalla (do Valkyries bang their heads to Viking metal?).

   Then again, I might be busy getting to know some of the most
   interesting people in history. I could give Socrates shit for drinking
   that hemlock, for starters, and see if Nefertiti and Cleopatra really
   were all that. Maybe I’ll see what Tallulah Bankhead thinks of writers
   who do know how to spell ‘fuck’. Maybe talk math with Hypatia and
   Pythagoras, or pass some time kicking the likes of Adolf Hitler, Benito
   Mussolini, Josef Stalin, Mao Zedong, Henry Kissinger, and Dick Cheney
   in the nuts — assuming the millions they’d harmed in life had already
   had their turn; if not, I can wait because for me it would be
   principle, but for them it’s personal. Hell, I could ask Marcus
   Aurelius what thinks of all the techbros masturbating to his
   Meditations, though I suspect he’d take that in stride. And I know just
   what to ask Fred Phelps: "Where is your God now, asshole?"

Credits

   This page was inspired by a post on Ava’s Blog called plans for your
   blog after you die.

   starbreaker.org was made with love ❤️‍🔥, defiance 🖕, and Free Software
   in Tanelorn.
   The source code and raw text are publicly available on Sourcehut.
   It is hosted by Nearly Free Speech in the People’s Technocratic
   Republic of Vinnland. (Vinnland flag designed by Peter Steele of Type O
   Negative)
   No LLMs were used to create this website. My consent to use this
   website as training data for LLMs is hereby denied.
   starbreaker.org is © 1996-2026 Matthew Thomas Cambion, and is available
   under Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 4.0.

   love metal 🤘 — hate fascism 👊
   death to rapists and rape culture 💀
   trans rights are individual rights 🏳️‍⚧️
   antifascist action is not terrorism, but leaderless resistance to state
   terror 🏴
   if a purchase doesn’t confer ownership, then downloading digital media
   isn’t theft 🏴‍☠️
   the United States of America 🇺🇸 was founded in defiance and is thus a
   Satanic nation 😈

   Caveat lector! This is a personal website and thus inherently NSFW.
   It is likewise unsuitable for unsupervised children under 13 years of
   age.
   All opinions published on starbreaker.org are the author’s own unless
   attributed.
   They are not representative of his exploiters’ viewpoints or those of
   their clients and partners.
   If this website bores or offends you, and you have forgotten how the
   back button works, dial 1-800-B-DAMNED for technical support.

   88x31 button for starbreaker.org starbreaker.org is restricted to
   adults

   intertextual violence, crime of literary shock — in nomine meo, amen
