contact info

I prefer not to use social media at all, so if you want to get in touch your choices are a bit limited.

• You can send email to contact at starbreaker.org.
• For safer, more private communication I’m on Signal as starbreaker.84.
• If you want only to leave a message and don’t expect a reply, you can sign my /guestbook.

All of my contact info is available as one handy file in VCard format. No, not that kind of VCard.

If you are dissatisfied with the choices above, please dial 1-800-B-DAMNED to voice your objections.

Since the following information is probably available on the internet anyway thanks to public records and data brokers, I will put it here as well. I figure it’s harder to threaten to dox me if I’ve already doxxed myself. You may therefore send checks, money orders, marriage proposals, and assassination threats to the address below.

Please be advised that all marriage proposals will be shared with my wife, and all death threats with the FBI. Kindly contact me before showing up at my door, particularly if you intend violence, so that I can prepare to receive guests with appropriate courtesy.

Be further advised that should you choose to draw a summoning circle, you do so at your own risk. Whatever you do, don’t break the circle once you’ve begun the ritual. If you don’t draw the circle just right, and pronounce my holy name just so — or make any of a thousand other seemingly trivial mistakes — it might not be me who shows up and summons Yog-Sothoth all over your smartphone. It might be Ź̸̞̙a̸̒̒ͅl̶̨̡̈́̄g̶̳͈̐ȏ̵̖̥̚, instead, so be careful not to call up something you can’t put down...