Power Underneath Despair

In your darkest hour, what saved you? What helped you find the strength to carry on?

This Could Get Dark

Hello. I'm hosting the IndieWeb Carnival for September 2024. I picked this topic not realizing at the time that September is Suicide Prevention Month. But the theme is suitable all the same: in your darkest hour, where did you find the strength to save yourself?

I'm serious: I don't believe that most suicide prevention efforts are particularly efficacious. If I'm on the ledge, I don't think anybody can talk me into backing away from the edge. It's a decision one must make for oneself.

If the decision to live is ultimately one's own, and you had to make that decision, how did you do it? When hope had abandoned you and your pride lay shattered around you, what kept you going? When you were so alone your soul seemed likely to bleed to death, what stopped you from giving up?

This may seem too personal. This may even seem melodramatic. If so, you're welcome to give this a miss.

It is, nevertheless, a topic of particular importance for me. I have my own story to tell. I suspect many of you have your own stories. If you feel safe telling them, and sharing links with me by email, I'd be honored to list them below. I don't consistently receive webmentions, because this is a static website built locally, so email's your best bet.

If you'd rather share your stories pseudonymously, I'm willing to host them if you send them by email with your preferred alias to starbreaker at tuta dot io. I won't tell anybody who you are unless subjected to torture.

I think we might be able to help other people save themselves if they happen upon our stories and read why — when death whispered in our ears and offered us an out — we gritted our teeth, clenched our fists, and said, "Not today."

I'm open to submissions until October 1st, and will publish a round-up post shortly afterward.

Inspiration

The title for this post came from a song by the Blue Öyster Cult, with lyrics by John Shirley. I had always found the imagery implied by the title appealing.

'Power Underneath Despair' by the Blue Öyster Cult
'Power Underneath Despair' by the Blue Öyster Cult

Responses

While I'll be going through responses in detail in early October, I'd like to list them here as I receive notice of them.

Update for 30 September 2024

Since I'm running the carnival this month, I've issued a last call for submissions. If you still want to participate but hadn't been able to find the words, you've got until October 4th.

Update for 7 October 2024

The IndieWeb Carnival for September 2024 is over. Thanks to everybody who submitted a post. You will find links, excerpts, and my own responses in Power Underneath Despair: Roundup.