Itâs my last day on my current project at my day job, and I was asked to update the product documentation, which is a Microsoft Word document roughly 170,000 words long. If I had had any sense I would have refused. What are they going to do, not extend my engagement? (Donât threaten me with a good time.)
It took ten minutes just to open this abomination in Word, because this version of Word is part of Office 365 and the document lives in âthe cloudâ. It bogs down for 30 seconds at a time if I type a single word. It has crashed three times on me. Now I know why so many professional writers seem to have problems with substance abuse. Theyâre self-medicating to cope with having to deal with Microsoft Word because nobody in the New York publishing cartel seems to understand that plain text is a universal interface.
I think Iâll quit early today; I already have two weeks of paid time off approved starting Monday, but with all the unpaid overtime Iâve worked on this project, I think quitting early today is my rightful due—and a gentler revenge than what I might take if I could bring myself to shed what little in the way of ethics I possess. đź
Frankly, the reason Microsoft products suck so hard is that nobody ever gets fired for buying this garbage—and they damned well should. Et putain de merde!
The damnable app just crashed again. Fucking Microsoft Word has me cussing in French (which I barely speak) because English profanity is simply inadequate to express my frustration with Wordâs sheer inability to cope with long, complex documents. I donât get paid enough for this bullshit.
Besides, if I quit early I can focus on ripping the absolutely massive 13 disc Deutsche Grammophon box set of Daniel Barenboim performing Ludwig van Beethovenâs piano sonatas and the Diabelli Variations. I got my copy in the mail last night.
Yeah, Iâm not joking. I grew up on this music, as well as prog rock, jazz fusion, and heavy metal. And heavy metal is just Romanticism in rock; like much of Beethovenâs work, itâs all about the Sturm und Drang.
If it helps, think of me as a grown-up Alex from Anthony Burgessâ A Clockwork Orange; my passions are consensual sex, ultraviolence in video games, and Beethoven.
I should have tried charging this box set to the company; itâs music I can leave on in the background even if Iâm on a conference call.
I canât say that about the likes of Alicia Cordisco, Gold Spire, Fires in the Distance, Ghost, Transgressive, Fourth Dominion Firmament, Spell, Thank You Scientist, or Mortiis... But my bosses are lucky I donât listen to Body Count on the job, let alone Otep or Cattle Decapitation.